Stupid Weight, Stupid Fat, Stupid Food! I HATE IT ALL!


I’ve been defeated… And it SUCKS!! My weight has defeated me once again. I don’t know what it is, once I jump off some stupid diet I’ve been doing and try to do it the right way on my own, I just get so sidetracked!! I was doing Nutrisystem as you’ve seen a few posts, but I honestly couldn’t continue with it. The food was starting to drive me nuts, I’d cook for my entire family and then I’d have a little dinky microwave dinner… Granted I’d add food to it, but it still wasn’t for me after a while…

I ended up at the doctors office today for a check on my blood sugars and other things. Blood sugar and A1C levels are in good shape, so that’s good… What’s not so good is my weight! I gained according to their scale, and I’ve been trying my hardest NOT to weigh myself lately, which is STUPID, but that broke my little promise to myself. The number on the scale floored me… 227lbs… WTH!! I had gotten down to 211 at one point WTH is going on……

Talked to my doctor a bit, and talked to her about getting on a weight loss drug, she said no… I guess it’s good I have a doctor who’s not going to just hand me any old drug I ask for, but on the other hand, I want it dammit!!! She told me she doesn’t like prescribing that med unless it’s a must have. That I can’t be on it forever, and the more you take it the less effective it gets. Her decision, do it the old fashioned way, and her other suggestion was to go back to Weight Watchers.

I have to log my food, more calories out than calories in she said… Yea yea…. UGH…. We’re going on a purge at my house, and next week I’ll be signing up with weight watchers.

I decided to step on my own trusty scale, which I like more and more now. It’s been calibrated and I know it’s a good scale, and it had me at 5lbs less than what my doctors scale said… so HMPH!

Anyways, she also suggested that I use myfitnesspal.com which I have been but I’ve really been slacking on journaling everything. Her words, “You need to get obsessive about it!”.

I go back to see her in 4 months.

If I can do it correctly with at least 2lbs a week weight loss, I should be 30lbs lighter by the time I see her again. She said it sounds like I’m making the right choices, working out 3 days a week, 3 days at home, it has to be what I’m putting into my body because I’ve done it before, I can do it again, which is why she doesn’t want me taking any supplements/drugs.

Ugh…… Here I go…. Long journey ahead, a journey I’m always fighting with… I’m so SICK of this! But looking at my BMI she told me that medically it’s not a good number to be at and we HAVE to lower it… I don’t doubt her, but sometimes I doubt myself…

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October 4, 2011 – 2:49 PM - | Posted in daily life, weight loss | 9 Comments »

9 Comments to “Stupid Weight, Stupid Fat, Stupid Food! I HATE IT ALL!”

  1. Nicole Says:

    I’m sure you’ve heard all kinds of tips from all kinds of people, but one thing definitely stood out in this post: “I jump off some stupid diet I’ve been doing and try to do it the right way on my own, I just get so sidetracked!! …The food was starting to drive me nuts, I’d cook for my entire family and then I’d have a little dinky microwave dinner…”

    Not only is it frustrating to not eat with your family, but it’s inconvenient. It’s also not something you can do long-term, as you’ve seen.

    I have found the South Beach diet to be the absolutely most effective method of weight loss. I have always yo-yo dieted, lost a lot of weight… gained it all back, plus… But once I started following South Beach, I learned HOW to eat. I learned how to modify, substitute, etc. I learned how to stay on track when eating out. And the best thing about it is… no measuring. No points. You just learn HOW TO EAT.

    My brother is a body builder and personal trainer. He said “South Beach” is just a fancy term/gimmick for the way we all should it. It’s simply healthy eating. And your family can eat what you eat. It’s good for everyone!

    I lost 30 lbs and maintained that loss for well over a year and a half now. Do I fluctuate here and there? Sure I do. But I don’t swing so wildly, losing 15, gaining 20 like I used to.

    Anyway… good luck, keep trying, and don’t quit!

    lyricsmama Reply:

    Thanks for the encouragement! I’ve thought about South Beach, since I am pre-diabetic, its also one of the options my doctor talked to me about before. The only reason I’m leaning more towards weight watchers is I’ve done it before and it worked, and I like the accountability of having to go in and be weighed in front of someone I don’t know. Having to follow a diet from a book, I know won’t work for me. I need more accountability than that.

    Nicole Reply:

    Well, that’s the thing… you only work from the book until you understand how it works. I haven’t cracked any of the books (unless looking for a recipe) in a long time.

    But the biggest thing is finding what works for you. Everyone needs different motivation, different triggers, etc. I personally don’t weigh myself often. I did at first, but I get my motivation from the changes I can SEE. The number on the scale didn’t change, but my pants were loose. I got better results from weight training rather than cardio. I personally hate cardio. Others LOVE it.

    So, you’re definitely doing the right thing by doing what you feel will work best for you and will motivate you the most.
    Nicole´s last blog post .."Let’s not be narrow, nasty, and negative." ~T. S. Eliot

  2. sustahl Says:

    I am on my own weight loss journey. I have to lose 100 pounds and I am heavier than you are. My doctor is the same as yours… she won’t just hand me a diet pill or let me get a gastric bypass. Losing weight isn’t easy, but it is worth it!
    sustahl´s last blog post ..Be grateful for something today

    lyricsmama Reply:

    I guess it’s great that we have good doctors who aren’t just in it for the ‘money’. Good luck!! I have a total of about 75lbs to loose, it used to be so much more, and I could probably loose more still after that, but my goal is to get down to my wedding weight first, which was 145. It’s not easy, and it is worth it in the long run, I just get frustrated and feel like I’ve been doing this for years now with no real results, or at least the results I want to see.

  3. Shawna Johnsen Says:

    I am right there with you girl!!! Hang in there and stay strong!!! Weight seems to be a never ending battle, doesn’t it? 😛 I love myfitnesspal.com!! But please don’t be obsessive about it, that could cause othe problems, eeeek!

    lyricsmama Reply:

    True!!! I tend to get obsessive about things like that too, but, maybe it’s a good obsessive! I’m like that with the gym, once I start going on a constant basis, I’m addicted, I have to be there every day almost! Hubby can get frustrated at times with me over my weight loss obsession, I just wish I could have some of it rub off on him.

  4. kathleen Says:

    Good luck with the myfitnesspal.com. I’ve been following your blog for awhile now and I think you are witty, smart and most importantly an amazing mom. Don’t let the weight get your down.

    lyricsmama Reply:

    Thanks so much Kathleen. Day 2 journaling my food on myfitnesspal and so far so good, it takes 21 days for something to be habit right? So lets see if I can get through 20 more days! lol

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