Sometimes I have these unrealistic thoughts and dreams, like one day I’ll be rich, I’ll be celebrity, I’ll be in a WWE ring, I’ll be a super buff body builder type chick. All dreams and thoughts I’ve had for as long as I can remember. None of which are achievable, at least at this point in my life.
This July, I turn 38. How did I get that old? Where the heck has time gone, and what the heck have I done with my body?!?!?! Weight has always been an issue for me, I’ve always been the ‘bigger girl’ of my friends, I’ve always struggled with losing weight, and wanting to make a change. I get started, I see results, and then I quit. I hate it.
Motivation is something that gets to me, or I should say lack of motivation. I don’t see results as fast as I like, and I give up. Or, I let people talk me into other things, they get in my head, and I say forget it. I want to stop all of this. I want to stop the quitting, I want to stop the yo-yo dieting, I want to just stop!
The past couple of years I’ve had eye openers with my health, that you think automatically would have changed my lifestyle, changed the way I do and see things, but it hasn’t. It changes for a day or so, then I get weak and things go downhill. Let me tell you something, being fat, isn’t fun, isn’t glamorous and isn’t something that should be praised. Being fat and being healthy don’t coincide, you can tell me till you’re blue in the face that you’re a healthy fat person, but let’s get down to reality, if you go to the doctor, they’re going to find SOMETHING wrong, something that if you don’t change will turn into something else eventually, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but as you get older, as things in your body slow down, that ‘healthy’ you thought you were as a fat girl, won’t be so healthy anymore, and then it’s too late………Or is it?
I have a good friend of mine who has been telling me for quite some time what I should be doing to help myself out. Not so much about my weight, but about my health. Eating right, exercising, being more in tune with my body. He had been bugging me about joining him in working out, yea yea, one day, one day. I have a gym membership, that I barely used, but was getting better, I didn’t need to go do something I knew I couldn’t do, with people. I was comfortable at the gym, using the treadmill and some of the machines, I was in a comfort zone.
Not seeing progress, yup, hadn’t seen any, in fact, I’ve been gaining weight thanks to my meds. I knew I needed to do something different, my eating habits suck, I could look online, be on pinterest and read my health/fitness magazines all day, but it wasn’t getting me to make a full change. My friend, did the best thing he could ever do, and although he doesn’t know it, has changed my life because of it.
For those who don’t know, I volunteer daily at my kids school. Said friend is my girls art teacher. He decided to bring the workouts to us. He booked the gym, 2 times a week, and brought in his friend Phillip Thomas who’s a trainer with CNC Lifestyle Management to bring us boot camp workouts. I missed the first week, I was busy, but I think it also was an excuse. I tend to think, I’m the fat girl, I’m the one who can’t do these workouts. I love them, the workouts, I feel empowered by doing them but everyone is going to stare, and think OMG why is she here.
I was finally convinced by one of my other teacher friends to come to class. And I did, and that was the day my brain clicked, and I decided to make a change. You know how that saying goes, that you meet people for reason, people come into your life for a reason, blah blah blah. That day, something clicked, and that workout led me to meet Phil, who I’ve since hired as my personal trainer, and although I’ve never told him yet, he’s changed my life, and my outlook on it. Bootcamp was hard, I was (and still do) DRIPPING sweat, literally, I thought, I can’t do this, this is too hard, but I didn’t give up. Phil isn’t a drill Sargent, he makes the workouts doable, he modifies things so you CAN do them, and he keeps you going.
I can’t begin to thank my friend Naeem enough for introducing me to Phil and his wife Betty who are both amazing people. Phil is so motivating! In fact, I felt a click when we met, that I told him something that really only my hubby knew. I told him the dream I had always had to be a bodybuilder. I told him, don’t laugh, before I did, and you know what? He didn’t. He said you know what, let’s do it! Let’s make it a goal that by August of next year (2017) I’ll have you ready to be on a stage competing locally. WHAT?!?! I’m a 38 year old FAT woman, that’s not going to happen.
He hasn’t given up on me, and I haven’t given up on me. I’ve been working out with Phil 4 days a week. 2 days at the gym for an hour each, and 2 days of bootcamp. As much as I have days that I want to give up, am too sore, don’t want to do it, I’ve kept going. A lot of that credit goes to my trainer, who doesn’t know how motivating and important he is. Without him, I think by now, especially being summer, I’d have given up on a change in my life. Summer tends to be a lot of traveling for us, in fact, I’m back in Canada with my friends and family more often then I’m home. Normally by now, I’d have been there for a week or so. Not this year, in fact, I’ve dedicated and committed myself to working on ME. Sure, I’ll still travel and go see my family and friends, but it might only be for a day or two, rather than a week or two at a time. I’ve committed to training, being home, and doing what I need to do, for me. For once! I haven’t even made a visit back home yet and don’t think I will until July. Which is a first for me!
So what I want to do, is introduce CNC Lifestyle Management to you. Follow them on Facebook, Request to join the group. You can also follow CNC on Instagram, and follow Phil on Instagram and keep up with his journey as well, as he competes in his competitions, you can also follow his wife Betty on Instagram who also competes.
For myself, this is just post number 1 of my new journey. I’m still in disbelief that I’ll reach this goal, but I’m refusing to give up on it. I won’t give up! What I hope to do is soon have some vlogs, but first, get a photo up of myself, which for me, is probably one of the hardest things to do. In that post, with the photo, I’ll also include my measurements and weight. SCARY! Nothing I’ve ever done before, but it’s something I need to do if I want to see this journey through and to reach my own goal. So besides here, make sure you’re following my Instagram and Twitter for updates and to see how I’m progressing daily, you can also find me on MyFitnessPal to take a look at my Diary and achievements. I’m also creating the hashtag #WAMJourney to keep tabs on all of my posts.
June 13, 2016 – 10:28 AM - | Posted in #WAMJourney, daily life | 10 Comments »